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skarodegradation:

kanyemotherfuckingwest:

shavingryansprivates:

remember when we were kids and we used to all sing that demented version of the barney song where it was like “i hate you you hate me let’s go out and kill barney”

i don’t remember ever doing this. you were a fucked up kid

i hate you

you hate me

let’s go out an kill barney

with a baseball bat

and a 4x4

NO MORE PURPLE DINOSAUR

(via aint-nobody-got-time-for-that)


buffbon:

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain, and a hundred percent reason to remember the name

buffbon:

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain, and a hundred percent reason to remember the name

(via aint-nobody-got-time-for-that)


fallontonight:

- Jimmy Fallon’s Monologue; July 31, 2014
[ Part 1 / Part 2 ]

fallontonight:

- Jimmy Fallon’s Monologue; July 31, 2014

[ Part 1 / Part 2 ]

(via aint-nobody-got-time-for-that)


COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL

toasterstrudel:

  1. Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
  2. Marry them and start a family
  3. Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
  4. Make them strudel with no icing
  5. They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
  6. Take all six packets for yourself
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster

(via saillorjupiter)


aduhm:

gloriousharhar:

augustus u bitch

isn’t he supposed to fall in love with her? TFIOS movie is SO different from the book…

(via pineaqqle)


(via heyfunniest)


urulokid:

That… Is not what I expected

urulokid:

That… Is not what I expected

(via heyfunniest)


tastefullyoffensive:

Name Improvements for Everyday Stuff [x]

Previously: Crazy Ideas That Are Borderline Genius


(via gaysbians)